Tales From the Crypt Pt. 6

IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN OMG.

So when we left off, we were talking about the most fucked up episode of Tales From the Crypt. Or rather, we were talking about how we were going to talk about it. But we can't talk about it unless we know what it is. Now, Tales From the Crypt is the kind of show where it's a little bit funny and then it's a little bit scary or a little bit gross. There's one episode about a writer for Tales From the Crypt starring this guy:


And the staff is talking about great ideas they have for stories, like "a golfer kills his wife and uses her severed head to play the back 9." The episode is called Korman's Kalamity, it's very meta. My mind is fucking blown. Anyway, that pretty much describes their mentality. It's usually a "wouldn't that be fucked up, ironic, and FUCKING AWESOME?!" That's pretty much the show in a nutshell.

But that ain't this episode. No, sir. No, no, no no sir.

Most fucked up episode EVAR: Death of Some Salesmen



No no no no sir. This episode is fucked. It stars Tim Curry in three different roles.



Can't be that bad, amirite? It's got TIM FUCKING CURRY! So, this episode is about a salesman, as the name would imply. He goes around scamming recent widows into giving him money for the promise of a plot of land for their late husband's corpse to eternally rest in peace at. But the only catch is that there is no land. It's bullshit. The dude is bullshit.

So he takes a wrong turn and winds up at the wrong house. Instead of turning him away, the nice old lady invites him inside to hear his sales pitch. Turns out, the old couple is BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY. This episode takes a turn for the so-fucking-gross-it's-actually-hard-to-watch. Seriously, it's hard to watch. Whoever directed this episode has no mercy. They just plow you with uncomfortable grossness.

I can't really say too much without giving everything away, but there is a really gross sex scene and in the end, you just feel dirty. Just horrible dirty.

I'm not even going to link to it. Go find it yourself if you must. But I'm warning you: you should totally not watch this. Even though you totally should.