Best Actress: Demi Moore
"Dead Right"
Oh, sweet Demi. Why are you married to that guy who plays Kelso? I would rather she be married to John Mayer than that guy, at least John Mayer knows how pathetic he is. Before I start rummaging through Ashton Kutcher's IMDB page to make sure my hatred for him is entirely justified, I'll review this excellent episode of Tales From the Crypt.
"Dead Right" is among the classiest crypt episodes ever. I could actually watch it with my girlfriend's parents and not feel like I was torturing them. The plot concerns a secretary (Demi) who visits a psychic who speaks with that stupid gypsy accent and tells her that she's going to get fired that day, but will immediately be offered a new job. When both events transpire, the former-secretary now-waitress returns to the psychic for seconds and is told that she will meet a man who will become rich after she marries him. Not by working, but by inheriting the money. And best of all, he will die right after he inherits the money! The bad news is that this is the guy she has to marry:
Yeah, it's the dad from Arrested Development... IN A FAT SUIT. Needless to say, Demi is less than thrilled to marry the dad from Arrested Development in a fat suit, but she's willing to put up with it if it means getting rich. Unfortunately, he's not only fat, he's a big fat demanding jerk.
One of the fun things about Tales From the Crypt is that the actors get so much room to work with. In big budget Hollywood films, there's too much going on to differentiate between a very good actor and a great actor. But here, Demi's talent is incredibly obvious. She's fucking amazing. When she vomits immediately after having sex with her husband, I nearly shed a tear.
I'm sure you've all figured this out by now, but I'll state the obvious: you should totally watch this.
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